A Penny For Your Thoughts

A penny for your thoughts seems a small price to pay to know what someone is thinking especially for the thoughts that are connected to me. I often wonder what people see when they look at me and what they hear when I speak. I know myself; what the thoughts and motives are behind what I say and do, but sometimes people do things that they don't even realize that they are doing. Which causes me to wonder how true to form I represent myself. I have several groups of friends that I hang out with and I was contemplating the other day, what would happen if all of these groups were to get together and discuss me (without me being there, of course); what would they say? Certianly there are differneces in the groups, some are crazier and others are more laid back, and I myself would tend to be more lively or more laid back in each. I might be considered more reserved in one group and the life of the party in the next. To a large degree the former statement is true, I think that you do take on the identity of the group that you spend time with. I'm not saying that by spending extended periods of time with a certian group of people that you'd end up with a group of carbon copies, but what I am saying is that group dynamics for every group of friends is different. You will do things with one group that you might not do with another; not necessarily good or bad, just differnet things. For example one group might prefer to go out and do stuff while the other might like to gather at someone's home. Do you see what I'm saying? I come acrossed as very reserved when I am with new people or in an enviorment in which I am unfamiliar with, however when I become more comfortable I open up and have a more jocular contenance. There are many little and seemingly insignificant things that contribute to people's overall opinion of you. In answer to my earlier question about the group conversation; I believe that at the very least it would an entertaining discussion if not enlightening.

Wondered Out

Do you ever get to a point where you are just tired of trying to figure things out, people out, or life out? Times when trying to stay ahead only leaves you more behind and confused than when you started? Some people refer to this as "over thinking" but I'm not so sure that that phrase is the best for this situation. I mean if I were "over thinking" something I'd like to assume that I'd have more answers than what I needed rather than none at all. See what I'm saying? It seems to me that, for me, a phrase like "fruitless deliberation" is far more fitting. It's all the mental activity without any conceivable or sufficient resolution, and as with anything, one becomes discouraged at the lack of result over an extended period of time. I hope that I have made this as clear as I possibly can, but, to be honest, it is a rather difficult thing to describe while in the midst of it. It is times like these that I find great solace in my quiet place. I don't care for the term "retreat" because I don't want it to seem like I'm running from the issue at hand, but rather it is a time to rest and reorganize. When I take these things to God and let him deal with them; I find that the things that had just moments ago perplexed my mind to a very frusterating end suddenly lose their significance and many times their complexities. Wonder why I didn't just start out doing that instead of trying to muddle through it on my own...