Loving Lightly

Perhaps it's the close proximity to Valentine's Day that this thought is thrust to the front of my mind, but lately I have been so disgusted with the current definition of love. I have a hard time distinguishing the lines between the love that we are to exhibit as Christians and the romantic love that we have for an individual as it applies to when we say it. I feel as though the word is used to liberally, but on the other hand, being a Christian requires us to love liberally....does it not? Upon thinking further I have come to a satisfying conclusion, at least for myself, that the fault does not lie with the word being applied too liberally but the problem lies with the meaning. The word has honestly almost become a joke in my mind. It has taken on such a fleeting meaningless definition that I feel like to describe what love truly means (or should mean) I need another word because love no longer seems strong enough. Maybe I require too much out of the word, but I get so disappointed when people use the word like it's a catch phrase. They say I love you today, but tomorrow the love is gone. Why is it no longer undying? Why is it that something happens that is disagreeable people are willing to ditch the sentiment that once was so strong as if it never meant anything to them at all? Selfless love is no longer the trend. I have often heard people refer to a particular divorce as "ugly", but when have you ever heard anyone say it was easy? or pretty? How can a couple who once professed to be "in love" go at each other throats; being perfectly content to leave the other destitute? In Anneland when you say love, you mean it.

"I don't know..." (well actually I do know, I just don't want you to know)

Have you ever been pouring your heart out to someone over a complicated or tough subject and in the midst of trying to explain yourself you stop and say "I don't know"? I do all the time. However, in the vocabulary of Flo "I don't know." rarely means that I do not know; more often than not it means "I don't want to say how I really feel because I'm afraid of what you'll think."

I never really gave it much thought, until I was talking with a friend; who was about to say something but stopped herself just before she got to her point, and said that very same thing to me. Though I did push her to say what it was she was thinking; I don't know what made her stop.

I realize that using myself for an example gives me an unfair advantage, because I know what I'm saying, and for that matter, what I'm not saying. But for me, I stop myself as I'm thinking through what I'm saying, and it comes to point where I either get frustrated (because I'm having a hard time describing what I'm feeling) or I'm afraid of what the other person would think if I leveled with them. Which leads me to wonder how much of the truth are we actually getting when we ask someone " how are you?" or "what's wrong?" Certainly you are not going to tell all of your woes to an acquaintance, but could you tell someone that you were close with? It seems to me that it comes down to a security and trust issue. Personally I find it hard. There are things that I want to talk with people about, but I wonder sometimes that if I tell them,I'm afraid that they would think less of me? It doesn't even have to be anything huge; like some deep dark past or secret. It could be something (comparatively) little, and your concern would be that they think that you're petty.

I offer no answer, in fact I don't even have a question. There isn't even much of a point. This is simply a thought in my head put to words.