"I don't know..." (well actually I do know, I just don't want you to know)

Have you ever been pouring your heart out to someone over a complicated or tough subject and in the midst of trying to explain yourself you stop and say "I don't know"? I do all the time. However, in the vocabulary of Flo "I don't know." rarely means that I do not know; more often than not it means "I don't want to say how I really feel because I'm afraid of what you'll think."

I never really gave it much thought, until I was talking with a friend; who was about to say something but stopped herself just before she got to her point, and said that very same thing to me. Though I did push her to say what it was she was thinking; I don't know what made her stop.

I realize that using myself for an example gives me an unfair advantage, because I know what I'm saying, and for that matter, what I'm not saying. But for me, I stop myself as I'm thinking through what I'm saying, and it comes to point where I either get frustrated (because I'm having a hard time describing what I'm feeling) or I'm afraid of what the other person would think if I leveled with them. Which leads me to wonder how much of the truth are we actually getting when we ask someone " how are you?" or "what's wrong?" Certainly you are not going to tell all of your woes to an acquaintance, but could you tell someone that you were close with? It seems to me that it comes down to a security and trust issue. Personally I find it hard. There are things that I want to talk with people about, but I wonder sometimes that if I tell them,I'm afraid that they would think less of me? It doesn't even have to be anything huge; like some deep dark past or secret. It could be something (comparatively) little, and your concern would be that they think that you're petty.

I offer no answer, in fact I don't even have a question. There isn't even much of a point. This is simply a thought in my head put to words.