Not By the Hair On My Chiny Chin Chin

How do you let someone into your world? Trusting them with things that you've kept guarded for your whole life? How can you rely on someone else when up to this point you've relied souly upon yourself? I've been asking myself these along with countless other questions of a similar nature. I tend to keep to myself and I guess I assumed that most people were like me (that's what I get for assuming). Turns out I am rather singular in this area. I thought that people got upset with you for for getting into their business; I never really gave thought to someone being upset about not letting them in on your business, and yet here I am. I'm not talking about a busybody, I'm talking about someone that you have every reason to trust and who is only pushing in order to help.

I find myself at a loss to explain my viewpoint... mostly because I am so confused. I think that there are just two different perceptions on what I'm doing. I've never been open with anyone, and when I say that I mean ANYONE. I'm the kind of person that will only ask for help if my back is against the wall and I've tried everything under the sun to resolve it but, to no avail. In which case it seems to me to be slightly absurd or at the very least abrupt to do a 180 and become a Chatty Kathy. This is new to me. It's like never swimming before but jumping into the deep end of the pool with out floaties. There is a certian way that I have become accustomed to and comfortable with dealing with issues that come my way. I'm not saying it is the right way, I'm just saying that it's what I have always done and it is what I am familiar with, and so far it has seemed to work for me. Which leads me to ask why change?

However I must say that looking from their viewpoint I can see why the feel the way that they feel. If you were used to being opened up to and open yourself and you come acrossed an individual who plays their cards uncommonly close to their chest, then you might feel that they were keeping something from you. And since you are used to people being open you might also assume that it would have to be something big that would cause them to react the way that they do (which in reality is not the case).

I admit that a week ago I would have been convinced that doing things the way that I always have was the best way, but now that this new way of doing things has been presented I must say that I am not so sure any more. Maybe being more open with people that you know you can trust is better. But is it possible to just start being open? I know that seems ridiculous to say but honestly I don't know how else to put it; that's exactally where I'm at... I mean what if I do change and find out it was a mistake? Then what do I do? Once you let someone in, you can't really get them out. I just don't want to open the door and find out it's the big bad wolf dressed up as my friend from down the road. But if I don't open that door could I be missing out on something that is beautiful?